You Don’t Fall Out of Love, You Fall Out of Alignment

A 5- Part Journey to Relationship Realness

Welcome to the series you didn’t know you needed but here you are.

This isn’t your typical “fix your relationship in five easy steps” kind of thing. Nope. No magic formulas. No guru-approved scripts. This is about you the person staring back in the mirror. Whether you’re happily coupled, freshly heartbroken, stuck in the “are we even okay?” phase, or somewhere in between, here’s a universal truth:

You bring you to every relationship baggage, blind spots, brilliance, and all.

Over the next five days, we’re stripping it down. Not to leave you exposed, but to reveal the power you’ve been sitting on this whole time.

We’ll unpack the frustration, the resentment, the “what’s-their-problem?” narratives and flip the script. This isn’t about blaming yourself or anyone else. It’s about getting real with the one person who shows up in every relationship you’ve ever had: you.

I’ll share raw, unfiltered stories straight from my own relationship trenches. No sugar-coating. No “love and light” fluff. Just honest reflections, a little tough love, and probably a few laughs because if you can’t laugh at your own mess, are you even growing?

By the end of this series, you won’t walk away with a perfect relationship (because, spoiler: that’s not a thing).

But you will have:

• New tools that don’t require a degree in emotional gymnastics.

• Fresh perspectives that don’t start with “if they’d just change…”

• And, if you’re brave enough, a deeper connection with the only person you can actually change: yourself.

Ready? Let’s dive in. No floaties. No pretending. Just realness.

Part 1: I Woke Up Feeling OFF

Ever wake up like your soul hit snooze, but your nervous system didn’t get the memo? No coffee. No crisis. Just BAM, your body’s throwing an underground rave, and you’re not on the guest list.

This wasn’t your typical “woke up on the wrong side of the bed” situation. No weird dream residue, no looming deadline anxiety just full-on internal chaos: sirens blaring, tires screeching, heart racing like it owes someone money.

No plot twist. No villain. Just vibes .

Unhinged, uninvited vibes.

The Default Emotional Toolkit (a.k.a. The “Fix-It” Fails)

When this happens, most of us reach for the same dusty emotional toolkit:

• Ignore it: Slap on a smile. Pretend it’s fine. Fake it ’til you make it. (Spoiler: You don’t.)

• Fight it: Get mad at the feeling. At yourself. Even at gravity itself.

• Distract yourself: Scroll. Snack. Reorganize the spice rack because obviously, alphabetizing cumin and coriander will cure your existential dread.

• Blame someone else: “Must be my partner’s fault. They definitely did something................anything that pissed me off.” Solid logic.

I was leaning towards the last one .........................but this time, I didn't go for it. I didn’t do any of those

Been there! Done that!-options.

The Power of Doing Absolutely Nothing (And Why It’s Everything)

I stopped.

Not because I’m enlightened. Not because I’ve unlocked some next-level Zen badge. But because I’m in a relationship I actually want to keep and I’ve learned that pretending I’m “fine” doesn’t make me easier to love. It just makes me harder to live with.

So I sat with it.

And before you roll your eyes thinking, “Oh great, journaling…” relax. You don’t need a leather-bound notebook and a candle scented ‘trauma release.’

Hate writing? Send yourself a voice note.

Not a talker? Type in your notes app.

Prefer to vent? Call a friend. Or hey, a transformational coach cause we don’t judge.

The point isn’t the method. It’s to stop running long enough to hear yourself think.

Plot Twist: It Wasn’t About Him

So I sat. I scribbled. I emotionally word-vomited into my notes app. I was fully prepared to uncover some deep issue with my husband: Maybe he’s the problem. Maybe he’s not supportive enough. Maybe I’m settling. You know real productive stuff.

And - you guessed it- It wasn’t about him.

It was about me.

I wasn’t honoring myself. Somewhere along the way, I’d started shrinking adapting, compromising, twisting into shapes that didn’t fit. Not because he asked me to. Not because he’s a bad guy. But because I forgot that just being me was enough. “I didn’t expect anything to change, but somewhere between the scribbles and the silence, something softened.”

That Moment It Clicked

And the second I realized that? Relief.

Not the “took-a-deep-breath” kind. I’m talking full-body, weight-off-your-soul, could’ve-been-an-orgasm-if-it-wasn’t-so-spiritual kind of relief.

Tears. Yawning. Like I’d unclenched parts of myself I didn’t even know were clenched. It wasn’t just self-awareness it was like remembering a song I’d forgotten I knew. Familiar. Grounding. Mine.

And when my husband walked through the door later? He hadn’t changed a thing. But I had.

I saw him differently softer, clearer. Because I wasn’t busy resenting him for things he didn’t even do, I felt nothing but love.

Turns Out, It Wasn’t Falling Out of Love

Here’s the thing: Turns out, I wasn’t falling out of love. I was falling out of alignment with myself.

And when you’re out of alignment with who you are, even the people you love the most can feel like the problem.

But they’re not the problem. The misalignment is.

This realization didn’t just shift how I saw my husband it shifted how I saw everything. Because love doesn’t disappear; it gets buried under layers of unmet needs, unspoken truths, and versions of ourselves we’ve outgrown.

And this? This is just the beginning.

Lesson of the Day: Flipping the Emotional Umbrella

Sometimes, the storm inside you isn’t about the weather outside. It’s just you standing there, holding the damn umbrella upside down, wondering why you’re still getting soaked.

Mini Self-Alignment Check: Try This

Next time you wake up feeling “wrong,” don’t rush to fix it. Instead:

1. Sit with it. Breathe. Don’t distract just be.

2. Name it, if you can. “This feels like anxiety,” or “This feels like disconnect.”

3. Ask yourself:

   • “Where am I dishonoring myself right now?”

   • “What am I pretending is ‘fine’ that isn’t?”

4. Choose one small act of realignment.

   • Say the thing.

   • Set the boundary.

   • Cancel the plan.

   • Dance in your living room.

It might feel like snorting emotional espresso, sure. But on the other side? There’s a kind of peace you can’t buy, borrow, or binge-watch your way into.

Coming Up Next: Part 2 The Mirror Doesn’t Lie (But It Might Exaggerate)

Think you’ve got it all figured out after one emotional breakthrough? Cute.

In Part 2, we’ll talk about how your brain loves to play the blame game 'Is it me? No, can’t be. Must be them.'

Spoiler alert: It’s probably you.

Stay tuned for mental spirals, accidental self-awareness, and the uncomfortable realization that the “problem” might just be… your own reflection. (Don’t worry, I’ll bring snacks. Emotional snacks. Like self-compassion.)